I'm leaving now

I still find myself still thinking of a heart that doesn’t even love me anymore.
I don’t want to stay here anymore, I don’t want to wait anymore.
But it’s subconscious now.
I find myself subconsciously waiting for something to happen.. for my old flame to be re-lit and to burn brighter than it ever had before.
But you extinguished your feelings for me a long long time ago. You no longer have any interest in me anymore, and you can’t imagine how pathetic I feel for loving a heart that doesn’t even want my love.
You can’t imagine how hard it is for me to keep going everyday. It’s an exhausting marathon just to finish my day, and when I need rest, my body can’t shut off due to some irrelevant reason. Somethings missing, you’re missing. I’ve questioned my relevance, my worth. Is what I have to give not enough? Is it not special enough? I love you so much that I’ve sat here and waited like a fool. I love you enough to still consider the fragments of our past worthy enough to salvage and keep, because it’d be a shame to throw such a beautiful thing away. I love you enough to still believe that if I keep this small amount of hope with me, everything will be okay. Hope dies last remember? But the sad thing is.. my hope is slowly dying and there is no chance of recovery.

If I’ve learned one thing, it is that time is the anesthetic to heartbreak.
You never really get over the pain, it’s just that with time, you become numb to it. You get so used to this throbbing heartache, that you soon forget about it all together. But once you remember, the throbbing erupts once again, and you find yourself more fucked than you were the first day everything came crashing down. So you know what? This is it. Everything is finally set and done, and it’s so sad, because this could have been something so special. However, your voice and your heart all belong to someone else now, and loving a stranger is completely useless to me.
I’ve loved you enough to wait against all odds, and kept my small amount of hope alive for far too long. Even if you don’t care anymore, at least I know in myself that what I felt was real, and what I have to offer is special. It isn’t fair for me to love you all by myself, so I’ve decided I’m going to stop now. I’m going to love myself enough to pick myself up and leave and never look back. I’m going to go now okay? and I’m going to be really really happy someday. You may wake up one day and regret all that you had lost, or maybe you’ll never regret anything and think this was the best decision you ever made. Whatever the case may be, I’m finished, and I’m leaving now.